What if…

It's past midnight, the scariest time,

with my heart racing and aching,

obsessive thoughts overpowering my mind,

unable to take a pause, I want to take a break from these thoughts and feelings,

I feel helpless, numb, my body is screaming "I can't take it, no more please. I am hurt."

My brain becomes hyperactive,

my fear is at it's highest peak,

brain is tangled with 'what if' thoughts -

what if I lose people,

what if this was the last conversation I could've with my parents and my overprotected behavior made them hurt,

what if this virus takes over my family,

what if I don't get a chance to say - "you mean world to me",

what if this is the last night holding my husband's hand, cuddled and covered in him,

what if there is no tomorrow?

This may sound selfish, but I am not prepared for any of these, so I pray to God, please take me but save my family,

Let them suffer because they have/could potentially get strength to bear my loss,

Maa says I am stronger than I think, but there is no strength bearing a family loss.

Just give me one more night,

to fix to the last conversation I had with my parents and tell them how much I love them, there is no one and nothing better than having them in my life,

to call my brother and confess that I secretly love him teasing me with his sarcasm and taking side of his brother-in-law,

to hug, kiss, cuddle and feel warmth sleeping next to my husband, feel his fragrance, covered in his arms one last time,

and then I will say - come take me,

I have lived my life at peace,

I hope to leave at peace! 🤍✨

#WhatIf #Midnight #Thoughts #Fear #FamilyOverEverything