Change : A Paradoxical Choice or is it?

Hello everyone, (I hope I haven’t lost few old readers and welcome to those who are new to this tiny little world of mine)

I truly hope things are well and safe at your end. I realized I have been away for quite some time, longer than I anticipated, but here I am putting my thoughts - just so I can gain validation that I am not the only ‘crazy’ one. So to those who are new to this, I am just kidding. And to those who know me, yes you got it, who am I kidding, would I ever seek validation? I know, right!

But yes, I would sincerely like to thank my dearest sister-in-law, more like a sister - Astha, for pushing me to come back to writing/blogging. Thank you for the constant push - I needed it.

So, let’s talk. Trust me, I am not here to talk about Covid-19, there are many people and resources available to gain enough guidance and tips. I am here to talk about a ‘small’ conversation I had with my husband this evening when we went for a walk.

Duh, yes, we have adapted a new routine, although, it’s just been 5 days, I feel quite optimistic about continuing this (just like I say it every time), Nipun is helping me keep high hopes. And anyway, we both love long walks. Part of the routine, right after dinner, we go to the park we recently found out about, from 7 PM to 8 PM, and on our way there,

Nipun said we would go from the other side of the park - there are quite a few entrances. Instantly and disagreeably, I asked - “Why?” and Nipun goes “Oh, just to explore a few more areas of the park since it’s huge”. Now I am the type of person who would normally agree to this since it involves exploring new places which I love, but I said “No, Can we please stick to the same route?” And without saying anything - he just agreed. Yes, that’s Nipun. The calmest person on this planet. He would never get himself into an argument or a discussion that would disturb the peace of mind, and on the contrary, he got me. However, I felt bad because he was quite excited about the plan, hence I chose to give an explanation of why I prefer the same route.

There’s nothing wrong in taking the new route, the reason I prefer the old way is because one, I get attached to places more than people, second - I like seeing and greeting the same people when we are on a walk, that way we feel connected to the community and people around us which is quite important especially during this time when we barely get to see people. 

I feel these help creating wonderful memories to go back to, down the road, after 10-15 years, this park shall remain part of my memories, how we started going for a walk, how we used to watch dogs playing, fragrance of the certain woods and flowers, favourite part of the walk, greeting people. Now on the contrary, if I choose different places every day, would I have any memories associated with those? Maybe, maybe not. I don’t know. For a person like me, I don’t think it will create such distinctive memories.

In the world of constant change, I still prefer keeping a few things old ways. I still remember what was my favourite toy, book, dress or song growing up. Reason? Simply because I didn’t have as many options as I have now. If you ask me to pick my favourite dress now, I would get lost, because I don’t know half of the unworn outfits in my closet. I don’t feel the same wearing a new dress now like I used to feel - it gave genuine happiness and joy wearing my favourite dress on a festival, birthdays, new year when I was a kid. Be it my favourite corner of the house, certain habits, letters, bedtime stories, music - I want to fill my life with wonderful memories - cherish and value the time, things, people being part of my life journey, I cannot imagine after living 50 years of my life having no memories to go back to.

Although I am a firm believer of ‘Change is the only constant thing in the universe’, situations like this make ‘change’ A Paradoxical Choice. There is no right or no wrong in this. It’s a choice we make based on our beliefs, perception and priorities.

Keeping faith in goodness,

Hiral Joshi ‘Aish’